I watch competition type shows and nearly every contestant attributes their success to their supportive parents and how much they sacrificed for their children. I thenthink about my parents. I had adequate parents. They were loving in the best way they could, but not overly involved.
Recently while watching The Voice I got to thinking about how quiet and withdrawn I was as a child. I was so lacking in confidence, but all I really needed was encouragement. However because I was so quiet and afraid of everything and everyone, I became invisible. I imagine my parents occasionally encouraged me to do better, but no one made sure of it. I heard them say “she’s shy” and apparently they were OK to let me be timid and shy rather than actively try to pull me out of my shell.
But deep down inside me there was this person wanting to be a performer; wanting to sing and dance and play piano. Those were things I really wanted to do as a child, but never had the courage to speak up about.
I understand that who I am now is the person I am meant to be. I also realize I wouldn’t be this person if I had taken that route. But, when I watch those shows, the child in me that always wanted to be the performer feels let down; like I missed out on so many opportunities because nobody even bothered to reach inside my heart to find out who I really was. So I became THIS person instead. This person who is a loner. I’m not shy now, but I spend most of my life by myself, and I’m okay with that.
As much as I thought I wanted that recognition, I’m really grateful that I didn’t take that route because fame is not as great as it appears to be and who knows what it would’ve done to my psyche. However, I’m happy to say that I have been a performer and have fulfilled most of those dreams, and more, on a much smaller scale, much later in life. Better late than never I guess.
It took me many years to overcome being shy and timid, so if you have a young person in your life who is quiet, I urge you to take the time to reach inside and find out who they are. Build their confidence and reassure them that it’s okay to be a quiet person and that they are not invisible.
Judy Kaplan Art & Musings 